February 09, 2009

Gold Day Blues

Song Listening to When Starting Blog: "Spaceman" - The Killers
Mood: Pissed Off
Blog Number: 66

No one said life was easy. This year so far has been the toughest year for me, ever. It’s such a shame I guess in a way, because I look in the past from around September or October and from myself in that vantage point, I was probably think everything by now from what I was trying to accomplish would be at the height of things and things would be just the way I wanted it. While I got to admit I am farther down the road on those accomplishments and missions I wanted to finish aren’t wear I want them to be. Somethings kind of went down hill. Lately, I have been feeling neglected and ignored and even though it’s probably not true, even sometimes when I feel like some people hate me or just don’t really see me as a friend as I see in them. That, I won’t deny is probably true. I can say names, but I don’t want to hurt feelings. Maybe some of you know who you are. If you think you’re one of those people, then start to change.


Now, I guess you can assume with those powerful statements that I had a really bad day. Well, it wasn’t a bad day, but not a good day either. It was just a tough reality checkpoint. Things aren’t going in the direction I want them to be in, and February is becoming the worst month of the school year. Or, I have an awesome day, but then the pride and happiness wears down too fast. Shouldn’t be like that, but I guess I just forget of time then. I realized some stuff today. I would have thought of myself previously as the kid that has friends in each posse, or many posses. But now, I think I am just annoying each posse where I have enough confidence to talk to. Probably wrong though. Plus, I think some people just take enough initiative to take interest in my company. For you guys who I can name, I’m not going to be an asshole and say fuck you or anything, but again I want, but won’t demand change. Do what you do.

As for today. Boring as hell. Nothing really exciting, but I began to find stuff to smile about later on in the day, but it just was a day of blues and feeling sorrowful to myself, like nirvana had been shot down in my body. Frustrated.

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