July 31, 2011

Man U v. Barcelona: We almost had the best seats in FedEx!

We had to, at least according to the fan about two rows behind us. He made sure that everyone within the vicinity could not only hear how amazing his seats were, but his outspoken knowledge of Manchester United, Barcelona and the game of soccer itself.


Part of the entertainment of any sports game does not solely come from the game itself, but from the rowdy fans, or in this special case, the sheer exhibitionist behavior of this guy.

I started taking notice in about the 25th minute of the game, following a shot (I had lost focus on the player) had on goal. This guys obnoxiously loud reaction?

“Now, what ??? should have done is slipped the ball over to his LEFT foot to brace the shot. And he clearly would have scored.”

Good insights, I wish I knew the game like you did. It seem tangibly possible. But why stop there? Why stop commentating on the game every 40 seconds. Here were some of the infamous things he said.

“Ask anyone and they will tell you we have the best seats in this stadium. Ain’t that right Marcy?” (Marcy, I’m presuming is his embarrassed wife, who spent the evening texting away on her phone, hardly paying attention to the match itself.)

And, boy, did he love to mention her in his wacky statements.

“Now, Marcy, when I get back from the bathroom, you can go and buy me some food and drinks!”

“Barcelona can only do things with Xavi Alonso. He’s the centerpiece of it all.”

“Hey Marcy! Tell them how we have the best seats in the house! That’s right! These seats are the greatest.”

My personal favorite.

“I don’t understand why they are not playing Chicharito.”

For those of you unfamiliar with European soccer, that’s the nickname of Javier Hernandez, a Mexican international who plays for Manchester United. Colloquially known as ‘Chicharito’ (Spanish for “little pea”), he was not on the match day squad due to a concussion. Good thing he could cover up his reason.

His son: “Isn’t he liked injured, with a concussion. Probably a bad–”

Loud guy: “Chicarito has a concussion, so it’ll be interesting to see how Manchester United manages without his presence.”

After that, I just heard random jibber jabber sputter out of his mouth.

About the Author

Tyler Walter

Author & Editor

Has laoreet percipitur ad. Vide interesset in mei, no his legimus verterem. Et nostrum imperdiet appellantur usu, mnesarchum referrentur id vim.

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