Ivanhoe Game on the Great Gatsby

I know. I get it. It's Spring Break. AND. YOU. DON'T. WANT. TO. THINK. ABOUT. SCHOOL.

AT ALL.

Well, I managed to bring some minor enjoyment into the dreadful IB English class. Or as I like to call it: The Science of Analyzing the Analyzed Analyzation...and then arguing about it, while throwing in some big words.

It's oh so true, but a few days ago...I think Thursday? Not sure, we played the Ivanhoe Game, and during the process learned from Ms. Fulton (my IB English teacher) how her very husband snickers at the title of the game. How? Giggling and going "hee-hee, I'm a hoe".

WOW. Even at my premature adolescent age, I'm smart enough to know how foolish he sounds at HIS AGE. Good God.

So, you take a role in critiquing a book, and that's all I could understand. Basically, I was a famous book review critic. Who was I specifically? Well according to my slip of paper saying my job:

A famous literary critic.

Great job Ms. Fulton, you make me proud of your knowledge of renowned literary critics. So, anways, here's my "review" of the Great Gatsby. I think you all will enjoy it. I'm warning you there's some out-of-bounds language here (mainly because I found out halfway through the assignment, that we weren't turning it in). So the first half is clean...-ish...like. Second half? Dirty, dirty, dirty, shit. Not really, but it's somewhat offensive for the weak minded. Here we go:

Great Gatsby Overuses Symbolism

Rating: 2/5

Fitzgerald may be in a slew of his own problems, and what's he to do when he needs to—yet again—whine about them? Of course! . . .write another novel abstractly portarying his dead relationship with Zelda.

The carbon copy, new, edition to his fruitless collection entitled The Great Gatsby. On the cover, it's more splatters of symbols and imagery awkwardly meshed together. Plus, can someone PLEASE explain to me the naked people in the eyes? Feel sorry for those English classes that are going to analyze the shit out of that.

Since I didn't waste my the time to read "into the book", guess what happened? I managed to comprehend the entire plot! It was fairly simple actually though to decipher symbols, Fitzgerald make some altered parallel universe in West Egg, New York with the fictional identities of Jay Gatsby (him) and Zelda...I forget the surname, but that's not the point. Every processor to this novel that he wrote took the same template. Have a sad, hopeless, creep and a beyond-extravagant women.

How it turns out is rather tragic. But, that would not be appropriate to blow the whole synopsis, but if you think of the evident choices, the answer will be yes. No questions asked. Hey, it perfectly colors his life. On the talk of the colors, lets bring up a pun to that subject. I think every damn color in existence is painted in this (more puns, yay!) And it twiddled up in a massive, cluster-fuck of abstractness, and enough green lights to go from LA to NYC and back on Historical Route 66 with ease.

Apparently, doing some research—if Wikipedia or Answers.com counts— it's to symbolize Gatsby's love for Zel—er—I mean—Daisy. When I read this, I just laughed my way through the remainder of the sorry pages.

As lousy as this book goes, it gave me a bit of charm. The intense effort FSF does to package another story (really, an open love letter to Zelda) is quite hysterical, and each page made me nearly die of laughter. Okay, so two stars.

I'm aware of the abrupt ending and the myriad amount of grammatical errors, wrote this in English class in 30 minutes. Cut me slack. Thoughts? I was confused too.